It’s a deeply ingrained human tendency: Comparing Myself To Others. From the dawn of time, we’ve likely measured ourselves against our peers, whether it was cave size in prehistoric days or social media followings today. While sometimes this comparison can spark positive change, offering a roadmap for self-improvement, far too often it becomes a tool for self-criticism, highlighting perceived flaws and fueling insecurity.
For me, the comparison game was usually a fleeting annoyance. A pang of envy at a friend’s success or an influencer’s perfect Instagram image, but the feeling would quickly pass. That was until Lisa entered my life. She was, in my eyes, everything I lacked – or rather, everything I believed I lacked. Bright, witty, effortlessly charming, she seemed to attract admiration and good fortune wherever she went.
Lisa and I became close friends, yet her brilliance became a source of torment for me. She reflected back at me all my perceived inadequacies, like a relentless mirror showing only my shortcomings. Every achievement of mine felt diminished by hers, which always seemed somehow grander, more significant. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t measure up to this internal benchmark I had created. This constant comparison chipped away at my self-esteem daily.
These feelings might have been somewhat understandable in adolescence, but I was 30 years old, an adult who generally felt secure in her own skin. Yet, Lisa brought all my buried insecurities to the forefront. Intellectually, I knew I possessed positive qualities, but emotionally, I was trapped in a cycle of negative self-comparison.
Compared to Lisa, my life felt consistently “less than.” Less attractive, less fun, less brave, less talented. Fewer friends, less appealing to potential partners. My confidence plummeted, leaving me feeling utterly worthless. Adding to this emotional turmoil was the guilt of harboring these feelings towards a friend. Desperate for relief, I scoured the internet for any practical advice to break free from this destructive pattern.
I realized I needed professional guidance to overcome this. Summoning my courage, I sought the help of Sarah, a life coach who ultimately provided me with the tools to stop comparing myself to others. Over several weeks, Sarah equipped me with a practical toolkit, helping me to not only halt the cycle of comparison but also to recognize and appreciate my own unique beauty and inherent value. Her methods were instrumental in shifting my perspective and fostering self-acceptance.
