As a high school sophomore navigating the complexities of adolescence, the realm of romance, particularly “first love,” remained uncharted territory. It was in this state of youthful contemplation that Shakespeare’s Sonnet 18, Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?, entered my world. However, it wasn’t Cupid’s arrow or the allure of romantic sentiment that initially captivated me. No particular muse occupied my thoughts as I encountered these verses in class. While the poem’s rich imagery was undeniably striking, it was the sonnet’s bold declaration of immortality in its concluding couplet that truly resonated within me.
Even at that young age, I grasped the timeless nature of art, the capacity of literature to transcend temporal boundaries and achieve a form of eternity, provided it forged a connection with a reader across generations. Yet, this particular poem went further, explicitly proclaiming immortality not only for itself as a work of art but also for its very subject. This audacious claim was directed not merely at the reader but directly to the poem’s beloved:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.
The subject of the sonnet – be it woman or man – rendered with exquisite metaphoric language, is here immortalized through verse, imbued with lasting value and worth. I was utterly spellbound. My own lived experiences as an impoverished, queer, Mexican immigrant growing up in the Reagan era of America were largely absent from mainstream culture – unseen in the media, unacknowledged in religious spaces, and unheard in the classroom. When glimpses of my identity did surface, such as fleeting media representations of gay men, they were often overshadowed by the terrifying shadow of a then-nascent AIDS epidemic. This pervasive invisibility and marginalization understandably eroded my sense of self-worth, fostering a life lived on the periphery.
Within the lines of this sonnet, however, a spark ignited – a pivotal shift, a new beginning. The final couplet, simultaneously imbued with melancholy and celebration, acknowledged mortality while defiantly transcending it. Here was language possessing the power to bestow worth upon an individual, to render them beautiful through the act of poetic memorialization.
The years that followed would usher in numerous beginnings, countless first experiences that gradually converged, culminating in the impetus to create my own poetry – intensely personal verses, born from a deep-seated need for expression. My motivations for writing are multifaceted, but the initial spark was to give voice to that which had been overlooked, discarded, forgotten, or never acknowledged in the first place. I write because through the alchemy of language, I strive to transmute pain and ugliness into beauty, recognizing the universal truths that lie just beneath the surface of personal experience. This transformative power of language, this glorious alchemy, continues to fuel my poetic journey.
