It was 2015, a year marked by significant mental growth for me. That year, I began to truly grasp how to confront challenges with a positive mindset. It was a period of learning to consciously shape my own perspective, understanding that a simple shift in thinking could alter my entire worldview.
Many insights contributed to this transformation, but one particular moment stands out vividly. I remember driving when someone posed a direct question: “Stephanie, why do you compare yourself to other people?” Typically, I’m quick with justifications, full of “buts” and “becauses.” Yet, this time, I was speechless. It was a stark realization that a significant portion of my early adulthood had been spent trying to mold myself to mirror the achievements and possessions of others.
This tendency, this ingrained habit of measuring ourselves against our peers, is something almost universal. We constantly seek external validation, comparing ourselves to others to gauge our progress and identify areas for improvement. However, this comparative lens often distorts our focus, shifting it from appreciation of “what we have” to a fixation on “what we lack.” We become less aware of our strengths and more preoccupied with perceived shortcomings, leading to unnecessary questions and wasted energy in pursuit of elusive answers.
This inclination to compare naturally extends into the realm of business. We find ourselves asking: How does our performance stack up within the company? How does our company fare against competitors? Where do we stand in the market? As marketers, these are the very questions we are frequently asked and the metrics by which our goals are often defined. While these questions hold a degree of validity, they can also trigger a critical understanding: “Judge nothing and no one; you don’t know their whole story.”
We are often comparing ourselves to individuals, brands, and situations about which we know very little. Therefore, when it comes to assessing your standing relative to the competition, I propose a refined approach:
Understand your competition, but compete only with yourself.
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You don’t know what others have in their toolbox. Are you privy to your competitors’ marketing budgets? When you observe a competitor’s post garnering 100 likes, do you know the financial investment behind those interactions? The answer is almost invariably “no.” Therefore, comparing without full information is inherently flawed. It’s akin to comparing apples and oranges. Imagine trying to replicate a masterpiece without a paintbrush. Personally, I might resort to finger painting, creating something beautiful in its own right – a unique finger painting, not a Mona Lisa replica.
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If you focus too much on what you lack, you’ll miss what you “pack”. If they are indeed your competitors, you are likely vying for the same customer base. Obsessively trying to compensate for perceived deficits in comparison to competitors is unproductive. Conversely, immense value lies in emphasizing your unique strengths, those aspects that differentiate you, and connecting with the audience that values those specific qualities. Historically, brands with the largest advertising budgets dominated market visibility. However, social media has leveled the playing field, making it easier than ever for individuals and companies of all sizes to forge connections. Prioritize consistency, authenticity, and differentiation to “stand out,” rather than striving to “fit in.”
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Check yourself (don’t wreck yourself). Conduct a quarterly self-assessment, comparing your current position to where you were three months prior. Identify areas of progress and areas needing improvement. Avoid comparing your growth over three months to that of others. Again, you lack insight into their complete narrative and their specific objectives. However, you possess intimate knowledge of your own journey. You understand the effort, resources, and actions invested over those three months. Analyzing this internal progress ensures continuous growth within your specific context and capabilities.
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Understand the competition’s relationship with the consumer. The most valuable insights derived from competitive analysis come not from direct comparison or imitation, but from understanding the dynamics of the competitor-consumer relationship. Similar to interpersonal relationships, our connections with brands are nuanced, often driven by emotions or specific circumstances. Analyzing how your customer relationships differ from those of your competitors allows you to leverage existing connections and cultivate authentic relationships, rather than attempting to force connections that may not be organic. [Sidenote: For further exploration of this concept, refer to my blog post, “You Can’t Make Someone Want Something.”] If Microsoft can develop software for Apple computers, there are always avenues for co-existence and mutual growth within a competitive landscape.
In what instances has comparison hindered your progress? Conversely, in what ways has it positively influenced you?
